30 Days to Better

30 Days to Better Eating in June

I'm trying to eat better these days.  This is nothing new as I've always tried to be healthy. I like fruits and vegetables, lean proteins and whole grains. 

I've always found it challenging to initiate or actually get going on a new diet when I still have a house full of pasta and saltine crackers.   My other challenges are that I am attempting to feed  a toddler a few times a day and if you have taken on that endeavor you know how frustrating it can be.  

Healthy eating to me means eating nutritious foods in smart quantities, including organics, variety and good taste.

This month will feature recipes, ideas, goals, challenges and food accountability.

Frustration; Shredheads

I don't think I look too good right now. 

This is, of course, all very, very relative. 

October of last year was the highlight of my self esteem high from months of sweating it out with Jillian and her blasted 30-Day Shred. 

I bitched and whined about it a lot, but the truth is, Noah stopped sleeping through the night sometime during that month and when the sleep deprivation reared its ugly head I caved under the pressure and gave up the one thing that could have kept me mentally on top of my MOM-game.  I stopped exercising.  It wasn't a conscious decision but rather I just got a bit derailed.  One week I only worked out twice and then only once and then I got sick and before I knew it I hadn't seen a pair of spandex anything in ten days and then it became two weeks and two weeks became a month and then we were sick again and a month became m-o-n-t-h-s.

I know this isn't news.

I know I'm not an anomaly. 

Many people take on exercise routines and things and life get in the way and they  get, you know, derailed. 

My stomach is flabby and it hangs over my waistband.   My arms are not as toned and don't feel as strong.  I have lost the hint of obliques that I was once so proud to see, albeit, shocked.   It is my fault.  Sometimes I blame Marc for "letting me get off track" and what I mean is that I wish he had noticed that I wasn't exercising and had come to me and said such and then pushed me toward the treadmill and reminded me to make no excuses.   But, he is my husband, not my trainer and not responsible for my choices. 

I want to blame.

I want to cry and yell that it isn't fair. 

I have to just ... get back on track.  

I am not starting from zero.  And I know how much I can do.   I know that I can walk on the treadmill on an incline for thirty minutes and then run for thirty more.  I know that I am capable of Level 3 on the 30-Day Shred, but I'll stick with Level 2 thankyouverymuchhere'smylung.  

I need to schedule better.  I need to stop making excuses and just do it. 

I'm asking you to hold me to it this time so I'm joining the Shredheads.

I will post my weight, shred-plan and goals soon ....

May's Rainy Days

We had a solid week of rainy weather so you'd be safe to conclude that I didn't get much outdoor exercise.  I did however do some indoor exercises.

I still can't seem to replicate the energy level and intensity that I felt a few months ago and I attribute that to a variety of factors.   I am "close enough" to my goals that I have lost focus and I wonder if I'm almost afraid to push ahead further.  There was a time last fall when I was in fabulous shape and I was climbing down the scale safely and regularly and I started to wonder what would happen if I outgrew, or rather, un-grew all of my clothes.  I'm not fat by any means but I remain in this place of needing to lose about 10-15 pounds to make clothes fit better and to be at a better BMI. 

What I really need to do is a flat thirty minutes of good cardio exercise I have also been playing around with my weights whenever I'm on the floor playing with Noah. I'll do some push-ups here and a few sit-ups there which I great for fooling myself into a state of fitness but not great for fitting into my jeans.

I'm still battling with myself to just... do it.

May days

I'm taking a break for the month of May from the 30 Days to something Better and reverting to the original intention of this website which was to chronicle my efforts on weight loss. 

I don't want to make yet another blog about weight loss and the ultimate fabulousity of the 30 Day Shred, but I make no promises to avoid mentioning it.  I am resolving to eat more protein and veggies and less animal crackers dipped in whipped cream.  I bought fat free chocolate yogurt today and some 100-calorie snack packs which are great, unless of course you eat four of them.  Which I did not do tonight.  Just last night.

I exercised tonight and it felt great. I have lost a small amount of strength and gained a few inches in my butt, thighs and waist.  I want to fit back into my smallest skinny jeans and see the obliques I had for such a brief time last fall.

The weather has gotten much warmer here and I had to dig deep into my drawers for some shorts and much to my chagrin, they didn't all fit so well.

I am giving myself  one month to feel better, look better, lose about five pounds and regain my confidence and my physical strength.

Get out

Photo taken by Jessica Smith
I'm bringing back the hand jive, and telling Rock & Roll Mama all about its merits.

There is nothing like a great little meeting with the friends to pull you out of your irritable husband-hating, at-the-dog-yelling, near-tears,  crabbycakes mood.

Today's suggestion for improving your self-esteem and pulling yourself out of the rut of depression, irritablity, or just plain blahness is to get out.  Move.

Get out of the house.

Get some sunshine (slather on some SPF, too)

Meet a pal, and chat. 

I promise, it will improve your mood and lift your spirits.  You will feel better about yourself and the world around you. 

Sometimes it's the simple things. 

Mind+Body

As much as it irks me to say this, the adage is true, exercise DOES make you feel better about yourself.

Marc got me a Wii Fit this weekend and while I'm massively ashamed to admit my Wii Fit Age, you'll never get it out of me, I actually did some of the exercises and after spending a day very sore, I feel stronger.  I have increased me workouts a lot this past week, from nothing to something, and it makes me feel stronger.  I stand taller.  I breathe deeper.  I am more confident. 

I challenge you to spend the next week incorporating exercise into your days.  Some lunges here, a few push-ups there, it'll make you feel pretty bad-ass.

What makes me feel proud

1.  Feeding my family healthy foods.
2. Taking the dog and the kid for a walk together and NOT losing my shit and NOT yelling at either of them.
3. Realizing I've gotten through another week and I'm happier because of it.
4. Being just as happy and content off of medication as I was on medication.
5. Exercise. I've returned. 30- Day Shred, Treadmill, walks, etc....
6. Eating vegetables and fruits at each meal.
7. Taking time to notice the blossoms.
8. Having time enough to notice the blossoms.
9. Looking forward to several adult social occasions in my future.
10.  Finally, finally, starting to make a dent in my pile of to give away, emails to answer, laundry to fold, etc ...

What makes you proud today?

Time for Mom

I went to the Spa last night. 

...

(please don't hate on me now or throw things at me, I did it for research purposes, maybe, not really though)

I had a gift card from some friends left over from my birthday and I happened to hear on the Twittervine that it was Spa Week.

Never one to pass up discounted spa pricing I booked some serious pampering and told Marc to be home early. 

I really could have just spent three hours (GLORIOUS!) sleeping in my car and I would have been just as mentally relaxed and revived albeit, more kinked and stiff necked.  I opted for the warm robed, heated table option of a local spa. 

One pedicure, facial and body scrub later I feel like a new lady, I swear, and not just because you would be hard pressed to find any dead skin cells or blackheads on this bod for at least one more day. 

I returned home feeling better about myself, sexier, calmer, cleaner and overall better prepared to baby-wrangle. 

I wish I could afford a spa visit once a month but for now I'll have to settle for once or twice a year.  It DOES make a difference.  If you feel better about your appearance or state of mind, you feel healthier, happier and more prepared for the day. 

Let's try this once more

March was supposed to be the month of 30 Days to Better Self Esteem, but, you know, life has a way of getting in the way of blogging. 

I think this is an important topic and it has many facets to explore.

April will be 30 Days to Better Self Esteem month, again!!

I have been trying to post lengthy insightful writings on this subject and when I wasn't able to pull together enough time to do so, thus, in April I will post smaller bits here to get a discussion going or just to document my own thoughts on this subject.

One of the biggest lessons for me is maintaining my positive self image when I'm unable to get to all my obligations.  When one thing gets tossed to the wind I hear that voice telling me Oh Shit! You're already off track, might as well toss it all to the wind and just eat junk, buy some fat clothes, hate myself, give up, etc, etc, etc .... 

But, you know, I have a kid to take care of and that means I have to take care of myself in order to do my job.  I have to maintain some positive.  I'm going to be exploring more of this notion here in the weeks to come.

Welcome to April!  How are you feeling about yourself today?

Sometimes it does matter

The old adage that it doesn't matter what others think of you but only what you think of yourself is a load of crap.  And not just because it is old, or an adage. What IS an adage, anyway?

The healthy explanation is that other's perceptions of you do matter.  It's how the world judges you, how a prospective employer decided to hire you, or not.  It's how a new acquaintance decides if you appear clean and safe enough to invite over for a play date.

But sometimes, it isn't so healthy or just so clear cut. 

I care.  There. I said it.  I care about how other people see me, what they think of me.  You don't have to think my haircut is a great idea but you should see that I'm a decent and respectful/respectable person. 

I know there are people out there who don't like me that much and there are times when the orbit of our lives, the independently spinning orbits come narrowly close to intersecting and I am forced to face these people. 

It shakes me.  It unnerves me.  It makes me paranoid and childlike. 

Sometimes it does matter and I care about my impression on the world.